indescribably painful

When I dropped out of school at 16, I was in great pain and the whole world was gray to me. The once uncomfortable emotions came to me like sea water, and I was like a drowning person, trying to get rid of this emotion with my numb brain. Fortunately, time can dilute everything. Two years later, I gradually recovered. Four years later, whenever I think about the pain at that time, the face of this person emerges in my mind, so I draw him, the pain beyond description.